During the past several months of the Covid-19 stay home and social distancing period, we have been given an unusual opportunity to slow down our schedules. I was inspired by Dr. Joe Dispenza’s message – to use this time to take a personal retreat to re-create a new norm. I kept thinking of the phrase “Emerge Stronger”. How can I Emerge Stronger, in my significant relationships, in my work, in my social life when life is happening without the usual activities? As I focus on the inspiration of Emerging Stronger, I begin to think of ways to make my days more interesting… without in-person appointments, without visits, without travelling, without eating out, without tea/coffee meetings, without music festivals, without social visits, without social activities, without any gatherings… all which I take for granted.

In finding the answers to this question: what do you love so much that would get you out of bed without an alarm clock? I am able to experience serenity.

S E R E N I T Y for me means to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. You can cultivate processes for your relationships in eight steps, which I summarize with the acronym S-E-R-E-N-I-T-Y.

1.Spin: Spin to strengthen your nervous system.

Start by standing still with both your feet firmly supported by the earth and feel the length of your spine with both hands outstretched with middle fingers pointing out, head looking to the front with your crown pointing upwards supported by the universe (refer to photo 3 or the short video demonstration included in this article).

Inhale, allow yourself to feel your breath in your body, and then exhale. This is one complete feet-spine-head breath cycle.

 

 

2.Expand: Expand your energy.

One of the benefits of doing the spin is that you will also increase your energy flow and expand your electromagnetic field. This is what I did every morning for six months, 16 years ago. After having three babies, then 4, 6 and 8 years old, I was ready to not-be-tired and to restore balance in my body. I felt energetic again. I got more than that, I also outgrew my motion sickness (which I always had since a teenager) and was able to go on the Rock & Roller Coaster ride at Disney World, as well as enjoy riding the Ferris Wheel at the Point Grey Fiesta with my children.

3.Register: Register in your mind the thoughts, emotions, sensations when you are doing the first two steps

Record your experiences in a book, diary, journal, cellphones, e-file etc. This helps to support your experience and confirm that you are on the right track. It enables you to review and change your direction or actions if necessary. Most people are comforted when they review their records and can track their experiences. This enables us to review our performance, satisfying our need to make progress in fulfilling our ambitions.

4. Exhale: Exhale into the ocean and space.

Take 1 to 7 exhales daily, focus and study your exhalations. This can cultivate stillness, a mirror for your mind or inner world. You can learn something about your implicit habits that can change the way you relate to yourself and significant other(s).

My spouse and I started to sit on the beach for breakfast. This has become our new norm, that we miss it if we do not do it, and it gives us time to talk about things that we didn’t have time to talk about in the past. We explore bigger topics, we practice silence, we observe the Herons. Some days we see up to nine Herons fishing at one time. The stillness when a Heron is waiting for the right moment to fish, the serenity of its neck movement to withdraw or to strike or to take off, its determination built into their survival instincts. During these sittings we have time to observe, reflect and talk about the habits, the nature and the essence of a heron. We have time to observe, reflect and talk about our relationships with stillness, serenity and determination inspired by the space, the ocean and the heron.

5.New: New protocol, new perception, new personality, new routine, new way of being, new thinking, new feeling and new actions.

We all need to create new ways of relating to ourselves and others with the new restrictions happening globally. Let go of what is not working to allow new ideas to emerge.

I believe everything I do has an impact on my relationship and my environment, whether near or far. To embrace serenity, we need to become clear on what we can control and what we cannot. We must then focus our energy on what we can do, to be inspired, to be inspiring, to contribute to a new norm and a new earth with a thriving space for humanness. I am taking this time, this challenging time, to create a new personal routine, a new level of understanding for our humanness, our mortality, and how my contribution will best serve a new society, as well as a new earth.

6.Integrated: Integrated approach to my relationships.

What happens when there is a conflict or disharmony in my relationships with other or with my inner selves? How can we have a healthy and safe “fight” or “argument” that will allow ourselves, as well as the other party involved, to emerge stronger in love and connection? This is where rules, structures, dialogues, conversations are tools to help as processes. Respect and inclusion play a big part in the process. We pause to study the situation, pause to register, evaluate, exhale to let go of reactions and old habits that no longer serve. We move into stillness, allow it to be a mirror of seeing more clearly, allow a safe space to reflect, we ask and accept support, be present and open to create an integrated and inclusive response.

7.Tea: It’s time for a tea break.

Whether it’s a tea break, ceremony, or ritual, do it and make it a treat. My in-laws live in London, England and they have tea breaks many times a day. In the past, I could not relate because I didn’t like tea, and I didn’t feel that thirsty so many times a day. In the recent years my sister Lillian, who lives in California, has become very interested in tea. She began studying, researching and travelling to tea houses in China, Thailand and Taiwan. Last year while visiting us in Vancouver, she introduced me to the art and science of tea brewing and drinking. I have begun to appreciate what her tea brews can do for me and the benefits of drinking tea with her essence, her ways. It will be another story to expand upon another time! For now, I will say that after tea breaks I feel wholesome, more connected, more peaceful, inspired and grateful with our relationships. I am learning to have more tea breaks and enjoy the different evolving benefits.

8.Yesterday: Yesterday is gone, let it go.

Practicing Being Present or Immediacy is necessary here. Start with three minutes a day of a Mindfulness/Meditation practice to cultivate this resource for yourself. This is one of the principles in The Hakomi Method:

Mindfulness: The Path of Consciousness – “This is a state of mind as well as a principle used in Hakomi. It is characterized by focusing on present experience, an expanded state of awareness, bringing the conscious attention to the internal world for studying core beliefs and their influence. Mindfulness is a natural state of consciousness – sometimes it is the first step a client needs to learn and to develop self-awareness.”

Mindfulness is a wonderful tool. It allows you to access what is within you, a wisdom that no other person or book can give you and enables you to make healthy relational choices with ease, as well as grace.

Cultivate S E R E N I T Y to Emerge Stronger

For more information, refer to the work of Ron Kurtz, the founder of The Hakomi Method, the book “Grace Unfolding” by Greg Johanson and Ron Kurtz and The work of Dr. Joe Dispenza.

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Chew-Nyet Lee offers 90 minutes one-on-one Hakomi and Therapeutic Counselling sessions at Connect Health to help you with your unique situation.

Please Call Client Services 604.733.4400 or email cs@connecthealthcare.cato book your appointment.